


forever is our today

by hooknleather



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-14
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2020-01-13 04:09:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18461192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hooknleather/pseuds/hooknleather
Summary: All of summer had come and gone since she and Severus had ended their friendship. To put it lightly. ‘Had a major fucking row and the whole friendship thing between them had truly gone tits up’ was a little more accurate, but Lily Evans was nothing if not positive.





	1. Chapter 1

**Forever Is Our Today**

 

**_“Wash out your mouth, scourgify!”_ **

**_“Leave him ALONE!”_ **

 

**_“You think you’re funny, but you’re just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him alone.”_ **

 

**_“I will if you go out with me, Evans. Go on ... go out with me and I’ll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again.”_ **

 

**_“I wouldn’t go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid.”_ **

 

**_“There you go. You’re lucky Evans was here, Snivellus –”_ **

 

**_“I don’t need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!”_ **

 

CHAPTER 1 - I’ll Face It With A Grin

All of summer had come and gone since she and Severus had ended their friendship. To put it lightly. ‘ _Had a major fucking row and the whole friendship thing between them had truly gone tits up_ ’ was a little more accurate, but Lily Evans was nothing if not positive. Severus Snape had been a good friend to her in their youth it had seemed. All things considered though, using underage magic to hit her sister with a massive tree branch should have been a warning signal that maybe this boy wasn’t going to turn out to be the nicest of friends, but he knew about magic and why Lily could do what she could. So, _of_ _course_ she had latched onto the boy who revealed all she ever wanted to know about the Wizarding World. _What a shame._ No amount of smiles and brave faces could hide that fact that Lily still hurt when she walked past Severus as she climbed aboard the Hogwarts Express on September 1st. She had felt his piercing stare but held her head high and ignored him, instead pushing herself to stand between Marlene McKinnon and Mary Macdonald (a.k.a her two best friends). Marlene glanced behind them when she spotted how Lily had stiffened and immediately slung her arm around the redhead's shoulders. 

“What an arse.”

“Hmm?”

“Snape. He’s an arse.”

“Oh. Yes. He is.”

Mary snorted at the brief discussion between her two friends and Lily couldn’t help but finally crack a smile. Sure, Sev had broken her to pieces with his derogatory language and weak attempt to apologise for what he had done, but that did not mean that Lily shouldn’t be happy. In fact, she had cut a toxic person out of her life, she definitely  _ should  _ be happy. 

“Here, this compartment is free.” Lily said, unlatching the door so that the three girls could enter. Lily cursed internally as she started the painstaking job of hoisting her trunk up onto the rack, she had to wait until  _ January _ to use magic outside of Hogwarts. Then it hit her and she stopped what she was doing. “Hey, Mary? I know it’s your birthday and all but do you maybe want to help  me out here?”

“What?” The brunette replied, clearly forgetting she was now seventeen, allowing her to do goddamned magic. “Oh shit, right!  _ Wingardium Leviosa! _ ” She muttered, and the three trunks slid up onto the racks neatly. Marlene chuckled at her friend as she flung herself onto one of the seats.

“Honestly, Macdonald. Every year you brag about your birthday bringing in the start of a new year at Hogwarts and the one year your age is helpful, you forget.” Lily rolled her eyes as Mary bit back at the blonde, settling herself by the window opposite the two of them and watching as Platform 9 and ¾ emptied of students and the train slowly started to roll out of Kings Cross. 

“Oi. Lily.” 

“Hmm?”

“Stop thinking about that good for nothing piece of shit Snape and pay attention.” Marlene grinned, still seated in a ridiculously uncomfortable-looking position on the train seat. “How long do we have you for before you’re required to join the rest of the goody-two-shoes in the Prefects’ compartment?”

“Oh... “ Lily glanced down to check her watch, her mind still fixated on the word  _ mudblood  _ being repeated in Severus’ voice. “The meeting is at 11:30, so about twenty-five minutes? I will need to get into my uniform before then.”

“Nothing we haven’t seen before.” Mary grinned at Lily, who smiled softly back. She really should have cheered up, it being Mary’s birthday and all. But summer had been so different this year, usually she had Severus to distract her from the wickedness of her sister and the dull existence that was her muggle life when away from school. But the summer of ‘76 had been so boring, painful and she’d had to endure Petunia and her boyfriend, Vernon (or Vermin, as she had so aptly nicknamed him the year before), almost every day. 

 

To Lily’s surprise, the twenty-five minutes passed fairly quickly. It was filled mainly with Mary and Marlene bickering but that had always been entertaining to watch. The two were closer friends with each other than Lily was with either of them, and they were constantly at each other’s throats. But their debates were always fun. 

At 11:20, Lily tugged her Gryffindor robes over her head and affixed her prefect badge above her left breast (as regulation stated). She tightened her tie and fluffed out her hair. 

“Lovely as always, Lil.” Marlene said, winking at the red-head.

Lily chuckled and slid her bag over her shoulder. “I should be back well before we get to Hogwarts, but just in case for some reason the meeting over runs-”

“Can we please take your trunk to the carriages? We know the drill, sweetcheeks.” Marlene responded with a grin. 

“Yes… Thanks.” Lily smiled back and at 11:23 she left the compartment, preparing herself for the inevitable onslaught of kids still trying to find a free compartment. She drew a deep breath, then pushed forwards, slowly but surely making her way through the crowds. She got knocked, bumped and at one point, almost launched through the narrow corridors of the steam train. She had nearly made it to the Prefects’ compartment when she slammed into something tall, lean and definitely human. Slowly, she looked up to see… James Potter? Clearly Potter had had a growth spurt over summer as last year he hadn’t been all that much taller than her. It had been only a few inches between them but now it seemed like a whole foot. Her eyes widened; he had definitely won the jackpot between fifth and sixth year. Any hint of boyhood, except perhaps the ever-present messiness of his hair, was gone and replaced with a  _ man _ . 

“Oh… Potter… Sorry for, well-”

“Almost sweeping me off my feet, Evans?” He grinned back at her, his hand sinking into the thick mess of hair on his head. “Don’t worry, I’ll find it within me to forgive you.”

Lily’s eyes narrowed. An interaction with Potter where the first words out of his mouth weren’t ‘ _ go out with me _ ’? Something really  _ must _ have happened over summer.

“Yes, well, sorry for knocking into you like that but I really should be getting to my meeting.” She said, pushing a loose strand of hair out of her face as she checked her watch. “So if you wouldn’t mind letting me past, Potter. I don’t want to be late.” 

“Right you are.” He smiled genuinely, stepping aside. “Want me to yell at all these hooligans to make you a path?”

Probably to Potter’s surprise, Lily let out a small chuckle. “Thanks for the offer, Potter, but I’ll gratefully decline. I shouldn’t act like I’m superior or anything.” And to  _ Lily’s _ surprise, she lifted a hand to pat his arm. “I’ll see you at the feast later!” 

She caught the gobsmacked look on Potter’s face as she brushed past him and expected that she wore a similar expression. Had she really just had a decent conversation with James fucking Potter, the boy who had been the bane of her life for the past five years? Shaking her head, Lily tugged on her ponytail before sliding open the compartment door to join the prefect meeting.  _ Bloody James Potter.... _

* * *

A flash of red hair and then she was gone, swallowed up by the swarming masses of students still filling the corridor of the Hogwarts Express. James Potter couldn’t help but grin as his hand tugged on the messy tangle of his hair. Lily Evans never failed to amaze him. Never once had she been so friendly with him before, not even on their first train ride to Hogwarts. Of course, that was when Snivellus was still corrupting her opinions. James scoffed quietly as he remembered that day all those years ago on this very train, sharing a compartment with Snape and Evans, hearing the greasy-haired slimeball try to convince the lovely redhead that  _ Slytherin  _ was the best house. _ As if… _

Some asshole kid jolted into him then, breaking out of his reverie. Coughing slightly, James shook the nostalgic thoughts away and shoved his hands into his pockets, nudging the compartment door next to him open. He hardly noticed Sirius and Peter sitting on the floor of the compartment, engrossed in a game of Exploding Snap, as he stepped over them and the game to slump in the seat next to the window. 

His head full of Lily Evans, a large grin still gracing his lips, his eyes fixed on the rolling countryside as the train continued its journey towards the castle. Her voice at a normal decibel was music to his ears, he wasn’t entirely sure if he had ever heard her speak directly to him when she wasn’t yelling at him or telling him off before. And she had… She’d  _ patted his arm…  _ Merlin’s beard, he needed to think about something else or the train journey could have turned  _ very _ embarrassing very quickly, especially with Sirius not even a foot away. Holding back a groan, James lifted his feet onto the seat opposite him so he could stretch his legs out. While there had been some benefits to his sudden growth spurt over the summer, confined leg spaces was not one of them. 

James had apparently not noticed that he was fiddling with the sleeve of his jumper, as Sirius let out a snort of laughter. Fiddling was ‘James code’ for thinking about Lily. Every single damn time. Even when he was looking at her or talking to her, he was always fiddling with some form of clothing. Sirius had spotted it in first year, and had taken it upon himself to ridicule James ever since. 

“Evans?” Sirius’ voice rang out, cutting through the sound of gentle pops from the game of Exploding Snap.

“Evans.” Peter replied, making a fruitless attempt to conceal a snigger.

“Hmm?” James hummed, his eyes moving from the greenery of the Scottish highlands to look at his two friends. He hadn’t  _ really  _ been listening, but hearing them both utter ‘Evans’ had pulled him from his daydream. 

“Bloody hell, Prongs.” Sirius laughed, seeing the slightly glazed look in James’ eyes. “Did the girl agree to marry you or something? You look positively fuckstruck.”

“No, she just didn’t yell at me for once.” James shrugged, not noticing his thumb scratching at the loose threads of a rip in his jeans. 

“And  _ that  _ has you grinning like you’ve just won the Quidditch World Cup by playing every position yourself against a team of seven professional players?” Sirius rolled his eyes.

“Nice choice of idiom there, Padfoot.” James sighed.

“Like the cat got the cream!” Peter piped in, picking up the cards to reset the game. Clearly he had clocked that it was time to tease James for his affections. 

“Don’t encourage him, Wormy.” 

“Don’t look so pathetic then, Prongs.” 

Sirius let out a bark of laughter at Peter’s comment, clapping the mousy-haired boy on the back with unbridled glee. James, however, slouched in his chair, crossing his arms and working on a scathing scowl.  _ Bastards. _

“Oh, don’t be such a drama queen, Prongs. That’s  _ my _ job.” Sirius smirked, still laughing slightly. “At least Evans seems to have finally warmed up to you now that you’ve hit puberty properly.”

“Yeah!” Peter chimed in, sucking a small burn on his finger he had gotten from shuffling the pack of cards. “Maybe you’ll manage to get her to go out with you this year.” Both James and Sirius gave Peter an unconvinced glance. Sure, James fancied the hell out of Evans, but he didn’t believe for one second that she might change her mind anytime soon and agree to go out with him. 

“Bit of stretch on that one, Wormtail.” Sirius shrugged, and James sighed once more. Of course his best friend knew that he had zero chance with Lily Evans.  _ Bloody fantastic.  _

“Sod off, the pair of you.” James muttered, his eyes still narrowed in a scowl as his friends mocked him for liking a girl. Sirius and Peter responded with nothing more than a snigger before returning to their game and changed the subject of conversation to how Lucinda Talkalot had been made captain of the Slytherin Quidditch team that year. Or something along those lines. James had returned to staring out the window, his mind full of longful snapshots of an unlikely future where Evans fell for him. 

Yes, Evans finding him boyfriend material was unlikely, but maybe, just maybe, they could become friends. After the fiasco at the end of last term with Snape where James and Sirius had toed way over the line, James had realised he needed to tone down the way he spoke to Evans. His tormenting of Snivellus that day had resulted in Evans being the one to get hurt and Remus had insisted over the holidays that James needed to apologise and treat Evans like a human being (which is precisely what she was, not a game). So James decided to stop acting like such a prat the coming year, grow more mature and not pull any more pranks. Or… Well, not pull as  _ many  _ pranks. 

All that accompanied James’ thoughts on the train were the occasional pops and crackles of the game of Exploding Snap and, more often than not, groans coming from Peter as Sirius beat him round after round. Sometimes James’ eyes would drift from the rolling countryside to his friends’ game, but never once did his mind drift from Evans. He racked his brain for ideas of how he might be able to win her over into being his friend. Clearly they could be friendly, was it really such a stretch to hope that a glimmer of civility between the two of them could become constant? All James knew was that he didn’t want to exist in a world where he could not see Evans at least a few times a week. He had grown accustomed to her over their years together at Hogwarts. Accustomed to her fiery hair brushing past him in corridors, to the light tones of her voice reaching him from across the common room - or usually screaming at him for some stupid prank or attempt to ask her out yet again. 

James knew that Lily Evans falling for his charms was one in a million, so he recognised that he had to resign himself to keeping her close as nothing more than a friend. Unless of course she decided she wanted more than friendship from him. In which case, well… He’d be hard-pressed to deny her of that. 

 

The door to the compartment slid open after Merlin knew how long. James’ eyes flicked up to see the fourth and final Marauder in the doorway. Well, his back anyway. Remus Lupin appeared to be talking to someone and James’ heart leapt when he caught a glimpse of dark red hair disappearing after Remus had said his goodbyes. The door slid closed behind him when Remus entered the compartment. 

“Was that Evans?” James asked as soon as the sandy-haired boy took a seat, his scarlet prefect badge gleaming against the black of his school robes. 

“Oh for the love of Merlin’s bollocks, Moony.” Sirius groaned. “He only just shut up about your lovely prefect companion.” He tossed down his hand of cards, evidently irate that the conversation was back to Lily. Peter snickered and began packing up the deck of cards, one of his eyebrows now significantly more blackened than the other and appeared to be smoking slightly. 

Remus rolled his eyes, seeming to have expected this to happen as soon as he sat down. “We were only discussing which of us is going to lead the first years to the Common Room after the feast tonight, Prongs. You know, since we’re both prefects. That’s all.”

“Yeah. Right. Of course.” James muttered, not even trying to hide his disappointment. Any shred of hope he had that Remus being friends with Lily would help his recent move to find a place in her life drained out of him pretty quickly. He sighed, his hand once again finding its way to his head and returning to his usual habit of messing up his hair.  _ “See you at the feast tonight.”  _ What did that mean? Why did girls have to be so goddamn complicated? 

Sirius let out an audible tut and finally pulled himself up from the floor to slouch on the seat next to James, pushing his best friend’s arm. 

“Stop moping, Prongs. What’s so different about this year to the past five?”

“She- She got hurt last year.”

“What? With Snape?” Sirius scoffed, rolling his eyes while Remus cringed from the other side of the carriage. “Good riddance, surely you’re happy Evans and Snivellus aren’t chummy anymore.” 

Remus attempted to interrupt Sirius, before James had a chance to respond. But James was too quick. Rising to his feet in anger, his brows furrowed and eyes blazing, he turned to look at Sirius. His friend was still smirking, evidently underestimating just how much he had managed to piss James off this time.

“You’re so fucking oblivious aren’t you?” James snapped, glaring at Sirius with unbridled fury. Sirius simply raised an eyebrow in return. “Evans got hurt. That is one thing I don’t  _ ever  _ want to happen. I’d gladly take Snape being her maid of honour at her wedding than see Evans with unhappy tears in her eyes. She shouldn’t  _ ever _ have to feel like that, especially not because of someone she trusted enough to be her friend.” 

His breathing was heavy as a tension-filled silence spread between the four boys. James saw Peter give Remus a nervous look through the corner of his eye as the air between James and Sirius sparked. But James didn’t care. He was sick of it. Yes, Sirius was his best friend, but this was  _ Lily.  _ A sensitive topic to say the least. James may have been a teenage boy with a few bad morals and a tendency to act like a right fucking idiot. But he still had a brain beneath his messy hair and he still had a heart. If Lily Evans was hurt, and if he had a part in it, he would never forgive himself.

Sirius continued to smirk at James and just as he opened his mouth to respond, James swiped up his wand that had fallen from his pocket onto the seat and stepped over Peter. He didn’t care to look back as he slid open the compartment door, stepping out into the now student-free corridor. He sighed deeply. He and Sirius would forget their little spat, probably by the time the train pulled into Hogsmeade station. It wasn’t the first time their two big personalities had clashed, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. 

James moved over to one of the train windows, sliding it open slightly. His hands braced against the window pane as his eyes closed, his forehead falling to rest against the cold glass. He hated arguing with Sirius, he viewed the boy as a brother, especially since Sirius had ran away from home over the summer, welcomed in by James’ family with open arms. But he had to stand up for what he believed was right. 

* * *

The compartment was bustling when she returned from the meeting. It appeared that Mary and Marlene had welcomed many a friend whilst Lily had been away. Every seat was filled with bodies, a loud chatter filling the enclosed space. She hadn’t even walked in the door and she could hear the noise spilling from the compartment.  _ Absolutely not.  _ Lily shook her head and turned away, her friends oblivious to the fact she had even made it back from the prefect meeting. She drew in a breath and turned on her heel. She’d rather sit alone, in an abandoned compartment than have to put up with that level of noise. It was times like these that she almost missed the quiet comfort of her friendship with Sev. Until he became a muggle-born hating prick, that is.

So Lily made her way down the quiet train alone. She hummed lightly under her breath as she walked, twirling her wand between her fingers. She hadn’t noticed that iridescent sparks flew from the tip, resulting in a shimmer of magical glitter settling on her black robes. She was so lost in thought that she nearly walked into him again, but managed to pull herself back to reality when he came into view. 

He was tense, she could tell that much. His eyes were squeezed shut, his forehead pressed against the window pane. His fingers were clutching the ledge, his breath fogging up the glass. Lily’s head tilted in fascination. She had never seen him look this way, so troubled.  _ Merlin…  _ Against her better judgement, Lily stepped closer. Her hand reached out to lightly rest on his arm, her teeth worrying her lip as she looked at him. Sure, James Potter was an arrogant arse, but Lily hated to see anyone in turmoil.

“James? You alright?”

* * *

James’ head whipped up, so quickly he was almost surprised he didn’t get whiplash. His hazel eyes were wide, but they softened as soon as he realised who she was. A small smile graced his lips, one Lily replicated much to his delight.

“Evans… I- Yeah, I’m good.”

He could tell she knew he was lying. She wasn’t blind or stupid, she must have noticed the irritation on his face, the rigidity of his shoulders. He was clearly irked about something, and Evans being Evans just had to know what about.

“Alright, Potter. We might not be friends, but you don’t need to lie to me. You don’t need to tell me the whole truth either, but don’t say you’re fine when you clearly aren’t.” Lily smiled at him, her thumb absentmindedly rubbing a soothing pattern against his arm. James chuckled and closed his eyes, his head falling as he shook it. 

“I- Sirius and I had a little spat, a stupid thing but I just wanted to get some air.” 

Lily hummed, a small noise that still managed to send a warm shiver down James’ back.  _ I’m so wrecked for this girl,  _ James thought as he opened his eyes to look at her once more. It was odd, having the chance to see her this closely without her yelling at him. He could see the small smattering of light freckles across her nose, a slight golden tinge to her skin thanks to the summer sun. Her eyes were so green, flecked with tiny pinpricks of gold that gave them the light he adored so much. Lily Evans was flawed, she wasn’t perfect. But she was beautiful. 

Beautiful in such a way that it almost hurts to look. It wasn’t just her features that made her beautiful, but her heart, her soul, the very essence of her being. Lily Evans was a lighthouse and James was a boat that needed her glow to guide him.  _ Totally wrecked.  _

“You and Black having an altercation seems unusual and expected all at the same time.” Lily chuckled, her eyes sparkling as the small laugh escaped her. “What was it about? Which of you has the most ridiculous hair? Because  _ I’d _ say you’re at level-pegging.” 

James rolled his eyes at this, but couldn’t quite hold back a hum of amusement and the grin that pulled at his lips. But when she raised her eyebrows, clearly expecting him to  _ actually _ answer her, his smile faltered. 

“I- Uh… I don’t want to say…” 

“Oh, come on.” Lily laughed, her whole hand wrapping around his bicep and squeezing, resulting in James nearly having a bloody aneurysm. “It’s you and Black, Potter. It can’t have been anything serious, you two couldn’t be mature around each other if you tried.”

A snort escaped James before he couldn’t even attempt to stop it. Her comment may have been accurate last year, but the summer holidays had been a rough time for both of the boys. They had been forced to be mature, thanks to Orion Black and his violence. James tried not to wince as he recalled the night Sirius had turned up at Potter Manor, a bruise forming beneath his eye. 

“W-Well… I- Uh…”James stammered, chewing on his bottom lip. Lily gave him an encouraging look, a soft smile still gracing her features. He couldn’t hold it back any longer. “It was about you.” He blurted out, his fingers tugging on his tie nervously. He could feel his face burning, especially since Lily then had a look of complete shock on hers, the smile having vanished. Her hand left his arm, leaving an invisible handprint that felt like it was burnt into his flesh.

“M-Me?”

“Yeah…” James sighed, his hand flying into his hair. “He… Well, he said that I should be glad after what happened last term with Sniv- Uh, Snape.” He managed to correct himself. It was not the time for childish (if not bloody genius and hilarious) nicknames. 

“Glad?” Lily asked, her eyes narrowing at the mention of the event the previous school year. James held back a wince at her expression, knowing how belittled she must have felt after her attempts to help her friend had led to her being yelled at. And had resulted in her being called  _ that.  _ “Why would you be glad?”

“Well, er- Sirius seemed to think that I would be happy you and Snape aren’t friends at the moment or at all... I told him to sod off.”

Lily looked dumbfounded. Her mouth was hanging open slightly, looking as though she was at a loss for words - which she more than likely was. A pregnant pause stifled the air between them, James shuffling uncomfortably as she absorbed the information. A few awkwardly quiet moments passed before she managed to find her voice once again.

“S-So why are you out here? Surely that can’t be the  _ only  _ reason why you got  _ so _ angry at Black that you left the compartment…”

“W-Well, I may have snapped at his comment… A little…”

“Why?” She asked, her head cocking to one side.

“You got hurt.” James shrugged.  _ No holding back now.  _ “I wouldn’t want you getting hurt for anything. Even if meant that you and Snape were still as close as Merlin’s bollocks, and no matter how much I hate that slimy piece of-”

“Potter…” Lily interrupted, a warning look in her eyes. She was clearly  _ not  _ amused. “Look, I appreciate that you feel that way, that you apparently  _ care  _ enough to want to protect me. But I don’t need you to stand up for me, or shelter me from the crap in life that might come my way. Yes, Sev and I may not be on speaking terms because of what he said, but I can fight my own battles.”

James had started to feel very embarrassed, his mouth opening as if to jut in a defensive comment. But the dam had burst, and words just kept spilling out of Lily’s mouth.

“Being hurt is a part of life, Potter, no matter how much it may suck. You are  _ not _ my boyfriend, hardly even my  _ friend.  _ I have spent all summer trying to forget about that fucking awful day and the way that you, Black and Sev all treated me. I am not  _ yours  _ to worry about, Potter, do you understand? Especially not since you and Black were the ones who decided to start the whole shitting thing in the first place.”

“I-”

“Save it.” Lily spat. Eyes blazing, she turned on her heel and stormed down the corridor of the train. She didn’t look back. With a final flash of red hair, she was gone, leaving James well and truly alone. Abashed and completely battered by her words, James sighed. She wasn’t wrong, he had fucked up that day, and he should have apologised for it - rather than attempting to defend his actions by shouting at Sirius. 

Resigning himself to an evening of misery, James pulled his eyes from the small cloud of mist that still fogged up the cold window of the train, the last physical trace of Lily in the form of her breath. Her words rung in his ears as he stepped away from the window pane at last, and finally she had gotten through to him. James let out one last sigh, before turning and heading back to his compartment. If he couldn’t make things right with Evans that night, he knew he should at least try to rectify one of his current quarrels. Sirius would definitely understand and accept his apology. But when the time came, would Evans?  _ Merlin, he hoped so. _


	2. No Pleasure Cruise

CHAPTER 2 - No Pleasure Cruise

 The first few weeks back at Hogwarts passed with a fair amount of ease for Lily. Six years in, life at the castle had become a kind of second nature for she and her classmates. They’d fallen into a regime: wake up; head to the Great Hall for breakfast; go to lessons; lunch; more lessons; and back to the common room or library to complete homework or socialise.

Lily’s biggest issue at the beginning of term wasn’t settling back in to life in the Wizarding World. No, she now had to attempt to avoid Severus. He seemed to be around every corner, staring at her almost as if his eyes could convince her to forgive him, which was pointless because she already _had_ forgiven him. He had called her that horrible thing, but he’d been lashing out in anger. But one thing Lily could never forgive was the choice he had made. _He_ had made the conscious decision to hang around with those arseholes who were definitely budding Death Eaters. The way Sev appeared to undoubtedly be going was something Lily refused to be associated with. So she avoided him.

Staying away from Sev worked most of the time, but it became a real problem in Potions. Being the top two students in the year (and probably the whole school) at that particular subject meant that Professor Slughorn had labelled the two of them his “perfect Potions’ pair” back in second year. But this year, Lily had refused outright to work with the boy. Instead she had dropped herself next to Remus, Black and -much to her chagrin- Potter, purely because they were the only other Gryffindors who had opted to continue Potions to N.E.W.T level.

Despite having taken almost all of the same classes as Lily that year, Potter had hardly said three words to her since the train journey to the castle on September 1st. He always shifted uncomfortably around her, clearly not wanting to irritate her after her angry outburst on the Hogwarts Express. If you had asked Lily the year before if she would miss how James Potter constantly hounded and bugged her, she would have probably laughed in your face. But there was something about sixth year that had changed Potter, and Lily (for some unbeknownst reason) really did miss being irked by him. Maybe because she had already lost something that year, her friendship with Sev for instance, she didn’t want anything else to change.

Lily’s halted friendship with Severus had meant she’d needed to find new people to call friends, and Remus Lupin had been quick to fill the role of her closest or maybe even best friend. Lily adored Mary and Marlene, but she’d always preferred the company of males than females. Maybe it was because Petunia had shunned her and teased her all those years ago that she found herself avoiding female relationships.

Remus was great; he was quiet, kind and wonderfully sarcastic. He also shared Lily’s desperate want to succeed at Hogwarts, so the two of them often found themselves nestled together in the library. They would assist one another with subjects they lacked in, Remus being poor in Potions and Lily at Transfiguration. It was nice, having a friend she felt she could trust.

* * *

 It was a late September evening, mere days away from October, when Lily and Remus once again settled in the library. Professor McGonagall had set a particularly difficult essay a few days before, something about human transfiguration and the implications it could have. Remus was doing the best he could to help Lily with grasping the concept of the essay, but it was a tough topic to explain.

“I know you probably don’t want to hear this, Lils… But James really is better at this than me.” Remus said, as quietly as possible since Madam Pince was lurking between the shelves. The school librarian was renowned for being stern, and the pair often tried their best to avoid being snapped at by her. Lily sighed and shook her head, giving Remus a rather disapproving look.

“Remus, you’re my friend. Potter certainly is _not_. Why would I ask him for help when you are not only nice to me, but you are also adept at Transfiguration?”

Remus said nothing, he merely shrugged in response. His eyes shifted to the entrance of the library, probably attempting to form an escape route and plan. Lily figured that Potter had told his fellow so-called ‘Marauders’ about her outburst on the train.

She returned to her essay, clicking her tongue in irritation as she noticed a stupid spelling mistake and scratched it out with her quill. Lily wasn’t stupid by any means, in fact she was rather intelligent. However, having grown up in the muggle world (paired with a lack of motivation for studying), she wasn’t performing as well as she might have liked in a few of her classes.

She wasn’t entirely alone in not being perfect  at every damn thing. Remus helped her with Transfiguration and she more than repaid the favour with Potions. That was the subject Lily excelled above most others in, even Potter and his talent for being naturally brilliant at every fucking thing he did.

Remus let out a small cough, jolting Lily back to reality. Her cheeks warmed slightly when she realised she had just been staring at her parchment, quill resting against it. A large black dot of ink had blossomed out of the tip. She groaned inwardly and grabbed her wand to erase the shining wet mess, wishing she could erase the thoughts of Potter just as easily. She was good at Charms, but not _that_ good.

Lily’s eyes flicked to Remus, and she was surprised to see him packing his books into his bag. He caught her eye and sent an apologetic smile her way. _So he was abandoning her._

“I have to run. Sirius managed to wrangle a detention for the two of us from Flitwick of all people.” He shook his head, smiling softly at what must have been the memory of Black no doubt causing some kind of havoc. “Sorry to leave you in the lurch like this.”

Lily smiled back, running the feather of her quill between her fingers. The two of them must have been involved in a bad situation to wind up in detention with Flitwick. The Charms professor was well known at Hogwarts for being incredibly easy going and forgiving when it came to mischief. Lily could have sworn that sometimes he even enjoyed witnessing the occasional prank.

“No worries, Remus. I’ll probably see you in the common room later?” She asked, her eyes following her friend as he got to his feet. Remus nodded in response, raising his hand in farewell before he slung his bag on his back. Lily watched as the boy left the library, leaving her quite alone.

With no one to distract her, Lily’s head ducked down to her parchment. Her tongue between her teeth, she tried desperately to get her head around the topic of the essay. In the lesson she had just about managed to tinge her eyebrows a darker colour, but she hadn't turned them entirely black like she was supposed to. They’d been studying human transfiguration and of course Potter had shown off by transfiguring all of his hair bright blue instead of just his eyebrows.

About ten minutes or so of quiet working passed before the empty seat beside Lily was filled again. She assumed Remus must have returned as no one else would dare try to interrupt Lily Evans whilst studying. Lily finished the sentence she was writing while she acknowledged the person who now sat beside her.

“Detention cancelled?” She asked, not bothering to look up from her essay.

“It’s a bit misguided of you to assume that I would be in detention tonight, Evans.” Said a voice that was decidedly _not_ Remus’. Lily’s head whipped up and her eyes narrowed at the sight of James Potter lounging in Remus’ vacated chair. Their eyes locked for a moment, Potter’s lopsided grin in her direct eye line. Lily broke the shared look between them with a roll of her eyes.

“What do you want, Potter?” She tutted, turning back to her essay. Why was Potter talking to her now, after weeks of awkward glances when he thought she wasn’t looking and clever avoidance tactics? “I'm not in the mood for another attempt to ask me out-”

“As _tempting_ as that sounds, Evans,” Potter interrupted, leaning closer. His hand fell onto her essay, stopping her quill from making contact with the parchment. “I'm not here to flirt. I'm here to apologise.”

Lily's eyes flicked to his. She was surprised to find that he was being sincere. Blinking slightly in shock. she licked her lips. “Apologise? For what?”

Potter sighed, his hand leaving her essay bare once more as it sunk back into his hair. “For being a complete arse? I shouldn't have tried to defend my actions, I should have accepted that what I did was wrong and not try to feel like a victim. I was out of line treating Sn- Treating _Severus_ the way I did.” Potter's throat had caught and he seemed horrified to have to say Sev's first name out loud. But Lily appreciated the effort.

“I just- I'd like it if we could move past it and maybe have a chance at becoming friends? I promise I won't act like such a child anymore. I've grown out of it, I swear.”

Lily's face must not have echoed how surprised she was as Potter looked rather disappointed. She eagerly fixed her expression to one that was different to the stony face she had plastered across her features. A small smile pulled at her lips as she looked at the boy sat before her.

“Well, I do believe that is the most mature thing I've ever heard you say, Potter. I do hope it sticks around.”

“We can only dream, Evans.”

Lily laughed at that, and Potter looked absolutely elated. “Alright, Potter. If you continue acting your age and playing less pranks- Don't look at me like that, I said play _less_ pranks not stop entirely.”  

Potter had flashed her a look of betrayal at her suggestion but softened after she justified it. “I think I can manage that.”

“Good. Oh, and I appreciate you taking responsibility for the shitstorm last year, Potter, but I really do need to finish this essay. You know Transfiguration isn't my strong suit and I’ll never get this done before McGonagall needs it tomorrow if I keep getting distracted…”

“Transfiguration? Do you, well- I could help if you want?” Potter smiled, and what surprised Lily was that it was genuine. So Potter really wanted to help her out?

“I- Well, I guess it would be a good place for us to start trying this friendship thing. Go on then, tutor me, Potter.”

The grin that spread across the boy's face was the widest Lily felt she had ever seen. Potter immediately tugged her essay towards him, reading over what she had written and scribbling out a few mistakes. Lily watched on in awe. Potter had never seemed so proactive in schoolwork, especially not with homework. Well, Lily had never seen him like it but who knew what he was like behind closed doors?

Somehow, after that evening in the quiet library with Madam Pince's stern glances flicking to them every so often, Lily and Potter somehow fell into a budding friendship. Lily was unsure of how she could suddenly stand Potter, but she had come to realise he had grown up and she found herself almost liking the man he was becoming. Even if he was an arrogant arse a lot of the time.

* * *

Somehow, thanks to James, Lily had found her performance in Transfiguration improving at almost an alarming rate. Professor McGonagall had even pulled her aside at the end of one class to congratulate her in finally grasping the concept.

“Well, you'd have to thank Potter, Professor. He's been helping me outside of class with essays and and work you set us. It's taken six years but with a little extra practice, I'm finally coming to terms with the subject.” McGonagall had raised an eyebrow at this and had muttered quietly to herself that sounded strangely like ‘since when did Potter teach my subject' as she walked away after dismissing her student.

Lily shook her head chuckling as she walked out of the classroom, a slight spring in her step that her teacher had noticed the improvement in her work.

“McGonagall applauding my hard work?” Came Potter's voice from the wall next to the door of the Transfiguration classroom. Lily turned and rolled her eyes to see the bloke leaning up against the wall, his foot pressed against the stone.

“Did you really wait out here just so you can brag about how Professor McGonagall has noticed an improvement in _my_ skill at Transfiguration?” Lily scoffed, rolling her eyes as she set off down the corridor past him. She heard Potter chuckle slightly and shuffle as he kicked off the wall to fall into step beside her.

“Maybe I just wanted to walk to the Great Hall with the wonderful Lily Evans by my side.”

“Sure, Potter.”

They may have moved past their differences and Lily may have spotted some form of maturity nestled deep, _deep_ down in Potter, but that still didn't mean he didn't completely irritate her. Sure, he might have some winning qualities that made him an alright human being, but he was still far too cocky and arrogant for his own good.

Lily wouldn't voice any of this though, Potter was finally comfortable talking to her again, and for once it was a normal conversation. She wanted to keep it that way, to have a sense of normalcy in her time at school. Somehow, being friends with James Potter meant normalcy.

It was a comfortable silence as they walked, their feet synchronised as they stepped across the rug covered flooring of the upper levels of the castle. The castle was quiet up there, most of its occupants were down in the Great Hall by now, but Lily being held back meant that the corridors were bare. Every so often, a ghost would float past or even through them, sending a shiver down Lily's spine. She wasn't sure she would ever get used to seeing or feeling a ghost so casually floating around. Having not grown up in the Wizarding World, suddenly entering a whole new way of life could be slightly overwhelming and even five years in, Lily still struggled.

“Are you coming to watch the match at the weekend?” Potter asked, breaking the silence. Lily chewed her lip, feeling rather guilty. She and James were 'sort of' friends now, and 'sort of' friends should really support each other in things such as matches and the like. And Lily wanted to, but the match was on Saturday. And Saturday was already booked up for Lily.

“Shit… I'm sorry, Potter. I told Professor Slughorn I would go to a little gathering he's having on Saturday, otherwise I would be there.”

She could see the disappointment deep in his eyes. even if he managed to keep it from showing on his face and in his voice. For some reason, knowing he was hurt by her not going to the match felt like a stab in Lily's gut.

“Ah, of course. I forgot that you're a part of the Slug Club.”

“Hey, I didn't name it!” Lily cried defensively, holding up her hands as if she was being arrested. She looked over at Potter and saw a small smirk on his lips, one she mirrored back to him. He was a smug bastard, completely and utterly but she still couldn't help feeling guilty that she couldn't make it to the match. She had never been a big fan of Quidditch, but would show up to an occasional match every now and then. Yet it had never bothered her. So why she felt guilty for not going to this _particular_ match was beyond her. “I promise I'll come to your next match though, Potter.”

“Pinky swear?”

“Don't be such a child.”

“Please?”

Lily rolled her eyes. “Fine.” She held out her fifth finger and tried not to shiver when Potter linked both of their fingers together. His hands were so warm… He shook their hands once, pinky fingers interlocked before he let go, his hand sliding back to rest by his side. He looked so proud of himself that Lily couldn't help but chuckle before shaking her head and continuing to walk.

They fell into a comfortable quiet once again, the sounds of knives scraping plates and a murmur of chatter growing louder and louder the closer they moved towards the Great Hall. Lily's stomach grumbled loudly, the sound echoing around the walls of the corridor. Her hands flew to clutch at her stomach as an ache of hunger filled it, her cheeks flushing.

“Hungry, Evans?” Potter smirked, his hand ruffling his hair. Lily merely pushed his arm in response, a sour look upon her face. Yes, she was very hungry and because he had wanted to stop to make that stupid pinky swear she was even later to dinner than she had originally intended.

She and Potter finally made it to the Great Hall doors just as Marlene and Mary slipped out of them, both slightly breathless.

“Lily! Oh good, we caught you.” Marlene said, catching the red-head's elbow. “Mary and I got detention from Professor Caecus in Divination earlier, we started throwing tea leaves around like idiots and he turned into a literal hell bat. So-"

"A metaphorical hell bat, Mar," Mary corrected, rolling her eyes at the blonde. "He didn't literally turn into anything. Except a dick."

Marlene decided to ignore Mary's interruption. "So anyway, Lils, we won't be in the Great Hall to have dinner with you."

"Oh, okay." Lily said softly, disappointment seeping through her. Last year she wouldn't have minded. She would've just found Severus and sat with him. But she didn't have him to lean on anymore. Now she was just alone. "I guess I'll just-"

"You can sit with me and the lads, Evans." James called out, looking slightly nervous. He apparently hadn't meant to speak quite so loudly.

"I'm not going to allow you to sit alone." He added, a little less loudly.

" _Perfect!_ Thanks, Potter!" Marlene called from where she was already halfway across the entrance hall, Mary in tow. Lily looked over at Potter with wide eyes.

" _Me?_ Sit with the Marauders? You've got to be fucking kidding."

"Oh come on." James laughed, his fingers tugging on the cuff of his shirt sleeve. "Peter isn't _that_ bad. And you're already friends with Remus. What's the worst that could happen?"

Lily contemplated it for a moment, chewing her lip. Sure, she and the Marauders had never particularly seen eye to eye. In fact she'd spent most of their shared days at school yelling at them or putting them in detention. But also, she was really fucking hungry. And eating alone sucked.

"What's the worst that could happen..?" Lily mumbled, her eyes ducking from Potter's as she nodded, signalling for him to lead her over to his three best friends.

Remus appeared overjoyed to see Lily following his friend to join them at the Gryffindor table, Pettigrew had a red flush surfacing on his cheeks, while Black ignored Lily and pulled James down to sit beside him with an excited expression on his face. “Prongs, mate. I just came up with the best idea!” Potter grinned back at his best friend and the two of them put their heads together, undoubtedly planning some form of prank that would infuriate Lily to no end.

“There’s not much point in even trying to stop whatever kind of antics they’re piecing together, is there?” Lily directed at Remus as she climbed onto the bench next to him, and he shook his head in response.

“Remus has tried many times before.” Pettigrew whispered across the table, his cheeks still red. Lily wasn’t sure if he had ever _actually_ spoken to her before. Potter and Black she had spent many an hour yelling at, and Remus was a close friend of hers, but Peter Pettigrew had never really made it within her orbit. He seemed like a sweet enough boy. He could be described as a little bit of a lump with a mouse-like face and watery eyes, but nice all the same. Lily found herself smiling kindly at him as he spoke to her. “But once they get their minds set on a prank it’s almost impossible to sway them from carrying it out.”

“Oi!” Black interjected, butting back into the conversation. Apparently he and Potter had completed any hushed planning that they needed to for the moment. "I think you'll find it's in no way _almost_ impossible."

"Padfoot is right." Potter grinned, piling mashed potato onto the golden plate before him. "It _is_ impossible."

“Can’t argue with you there, Prongs.” Remus chuckled, pushing his food around his plate. Lily shook her head, smiling softly as she started to dig into her meal. It could have been worse, she could have been eating alone. It seems there were _some_ benefits to sort of becoming friends with the Marauders. At least meal times would be entertaining.

* * *

 Lily couldn’t remember a time where she had laughed so much while eating dinner before. She had fun with Marlene and Mary, but they didn’t have the same kind of dynamic as the Marauders. Her dinner time had been filled with Remus rolling his eyes at Potter and Black flirting with each other while Peter just grinned and giggled along in enjoyment. She felt the stares on her back as she left the Great Hall with the four boys, somehow having ended up with her arm linked with Peter’s. But she couldn’t find it in her to care. She’d spent too many years not giving these boys a proper chance, and that had resulted in her not realising how fun they were to spend time with.

“Amicitia.” Remus said to the portrait of the Fat Lady, smirking softly as Lily howled with laughter at Potter and Black. The two boys had thought it would be a good idea to walk all the way back to the Common Room from the Great Hall with Black sitting on Potter’s shoulders. It had all been going swell until they’d climbed through a tapestry of witches as a shortcut and they had misjudged the height. Needless to say, Black had ended up sprawled on his back, only his feet visible through the tapestry after Potter had walked through. Lily was doubled over with laughter, Peter had to toss her arm over his shoulder to try and get her through the now-open portrait hole, which was a lot more like dragging her through.

“Woah, what happened to Lily?” Came Mary’s voice as the mentioned girl and the Marauders made their way into the Common Room. Clearly they had been at dinner for longer than Lily had thought as Mary and Marlene were back from detention. But she really couldn’t find it in her to care. She sunk into an armchair by the fire, still giggling at Black grimacing and rubbing the back of his head with one hand as he punched Potter repeatedly in the arm with the other.

“You okay, Lil?” Mary asked as she crouched down beside the chair Lily sat in, her eyes full of concern for some reason. She probably thought the boys had cast Rictusempra on her, the tickling charm that induces a serious bout of laughter.

“Y-Yeah.” She managed to get out, still giggling at the sight of Potter and Black now taking it in turns to punch the other in the arm. “I just never realised how funny they are.”

Marlene snorted, perching on the arm of Lily’s chair. “You never paid attention to anything other than their rule-breaking and Potter bugging the hell out of you, of course you didn’t realise how funny they are.”

“Mar-” Mary started, but Marlene simply huffed and rolled her eyes, standing up to go and play with Dorcas Meadowes hair across the Common Room. Meadowes had the silkiest, shiniest hair in the entire school and Marlene had a weird obsession with touching it, even though she and Meadowes barely ever said two words to each other.

“Honestly, Mar just needs to ask her out.” Lily grinned, watching her friend as she flounced over to Meadowes and began twisting her curls, Dorcas not even halting her conversation to look at who was touching her hair. “They’re so totally into each other.”

Mary nodded, her gaze falling back over to the Marauders. “They probably should talk to each other first though, they might not have matching personalities.” Mary’s eyes had glazed over slightly, her vision set on the four boys. Lily glanced over and realised Mary seemed to be staring at Remus. She smirked, but said nothing.

So both of her friends had crushes? _Perhaps some matchmaking was on the card_ s. Lily smiled as she surveyed Mary, giving her a moment to stare at Remus from across the room before she cleared her throat loudly. Mary jumped and blinked, shaking her head as she came back to her senses, a flush on her cheeks.

"You know, some people really struggle at taking their own advice." Lily said, a hint of smugness in her voice. Mary gaped at her, evidently taking the 'I don't know what the hell you're on about' approach. Lily said nothing more, merely standing up and throwing her bag over her shoulder. She winked at Mary as she stood up, moving towards the stairs for the Girls' Dormitory.

* * *

 Lily didn't feel Potter's piercing gaze on her as she departed the Common Room, nor did she hear Black's cackle as his best friend once again found himself lost in pining for her.

"Honestly, Prongs." Sirius laughed and clapped James on the shoulder, calling him back from Lily-Land. "You need to get laid, mate. And _not_ by Evans." He held up a finger when James opened his mouth to interrupt him.

"I'm not- Well, I don't-" James stammered, ruffling his hair nervously. "You know I _have_ … I'm not-"

"A prude like Peter?" Sirius snorted. James nodded, an embarrassed flush on his cheeks. "I know you and Moony both like to keep your sexual exploits to yourself but how long has it been since you got yourself a nice witch, mate? A few months ago at the beginning of summer while Evans was still pissed at you?"

James nodded, sighing. Sirius was right. He was only so tightly wound up because he needed to let off some steam, becoming Evans' Transfiguration tutor and somewhat friend had made him more strung up than usual. But he wasn't going to take Sirius' method of finding girls. If he was going to "get himself a nice witch", he was going to make sure he treated her well first.

"If you can get me someone-" James started, packing up his things that were carelessly strewn on the low table in front of his armchair. But Sirius interrupted him once again.

"Consider it done."

James chuckled and shook his head. He did appreciate his friend, was thankful for the care and thoughtfulness he occasionally had. But maybe getting him a date with someone other than Evans wouldn't help. Maybe it would worsen his chances with the red-headed beauty he couldn't get out of his mind.

Or maybe… Just maybe, she would grow jealous. Jealous enough to admit she wanted him. It was a big reach, but he could only dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! I've misplaced my laptop charger so had to write and edit this whole chapter on my phone which is not my ideal way to write hah! 
> 
> But its finally here so I hope you've enjoyed it.
> 
> Please do leave a review down below to let me know what you think and also to keep me motivated! 
> 
> Cheers! :)


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